Breast massage is a magical, almost nonsensically amazing tool that can benefit you in so many ways.
- connects you in a positive way to your breasts: an area you may have judged or felt judged by for most of your life
- increases oxytocin, and therefore feelings of love and bliss
- gives you a sense of your breasts and body as your own
- gives you fuller and perkier breasts (no joke)
- increases your breasts capacity for pleasure, moving them from numb or sensitive to potentially orgasmic
And please know, if you've had a mastectomy, you can still do energetic breast massage and get healing benefits from it—emotionally, energetically and spiritually. You'll massage your scars and skin, and cup the energy of the breasts that were removed. You can also do this practice with an augmentation.
I can see your furrowed brow right now. Like, I’m going to rub my boobs, and then I’ll be happier and more loving, and they’re going to look and feel better, and become a portal to more pleasure? This is way to simple to be true, and if it is true ... why in the world don't I know about it?
Why massage your breasts?
Massaging your breasts in a centuries-old practice, and is especially highlighted in the Taoist tradition. Breast massage is a fundamental practice, one of the first things you learn if you head down the Taoist or Tantric path. That’s because breasts are women’s positive pole. While the yoni is more receptive and inward, the breasts, no matter their size, reach out into the world.
This is also where the heart chakra resides. It’s where, when healthy and connected, we can emanate love, compassion and goodness. Yet so many of us are cut off from our breasts, therefore cut off from our hearts and connective power.
And why are we disconnected from our breasts?
Well, as you may have experienced, we’re judged to death on these things. If you developed early and had large breasts, you may have received inappropriate and gross attention when you were young. And if, like me, you had small breasts, you may have felt insecure in other ways, like you weren’t enough.
Basically, our breasts have been stolen from us, just like much of our bodies, because we’re being judged harshly on their outward appearance.
We’re not feeling the deliciousness that can come with giving our breasts loving attention and touch. That’s not what we’re taught to do. Instead, we’re taught to internalize external judgments. And that causes a lifetime of turmoil with our breasts. At the very least, it causes us to shut down around them.
So on top of that, add people touching them in annoying ways. Add people pinching your nipples too hard. Add weird creepy touches, and voila. You get these things that most of us are unhappy with, and a little numbed out around.
Enter breast massage.
Breast massage gives you a relationship with your breasts, one that you cultivate from the inside out. This is your time to connect with your heart, your nipples, and with any sensations or numbness in your breasts. This is your time to connect with the energy in your breasts, to give them acceptance and love, and to really make peace with them.
And you’ll find it’s much easier to make this peace through loving massage, than it is just through trying to beam positive affirmations from your brain to your boobs. When we work with touch, we wire the body and mind in a different, more powerful way.
How to give yourself a breast massage
What you’ll need: coconut oil, jojoba oil, or some kind of rich shea butter lotion. If you want to try now, any old lotion will do. And that’s really all you’ll need, besides your body. I highly recommend doing this massage on bare skin for maximum benefits.
First, feel into your breasts.
Take a deep breath, down into your belly, and let it out with a sigh. Repeat twice.
Put your focus on your breasts and feel into them for a full 60 seconds. Name, out loud, any sensations there. Sensation words are words like: heavy, airy, hot, cold, tingling, sharp, diffuse, tight, numb, prickly.
Warm the oil in the palm of your hands, and apply it to your breasts slowwwwwwly. Just cup your breasts gently and breathe into them. Slow is important here. We’re rewiring your system so that you know touch can be safe and comforting.
Start your massage on the outside of the breasts, with the pads of your fingers, and move down the outside, underneath, up the inside, and back around again. The palm of your hand can remain in contact with your breast. Keep going in slow circles, focusing on your breath, and any sensations that come up.
This is a releasing direction: focus on what you'd like to release from the breasts: any negativity, judgment, other people's opinions, negative experiences, etc. Let that energy drain from your breasts into the earth.
Rub in this direction for about two minutes.
Now switch directions.
First we went down on the outside: now we’re going to go up on the outside, around the top, down on the inside. This is the energizing direction, and you can call in what you desire when you rub this way. Focus on love, acceptance, beauty, and nourishment as you massage.
As you massage, really feel into your breasts. Be with any emotions that show up. There might be joy, there might be grief, there might be anger — it’s all valid, and it all makes sense. We’re just being with the sensations and feelings, and giving ourselves lots compassion for what arises.
After two minutes, stop, and give the breasts a good gentle shake to stimulate lymph production.
Close with a gentle hold, and thank yourself and your breasts.
Massage your breasts at least four times a week for up to 10 minutes. You’ll find that after a month your breasts will feel more sensitive and more pleasurable to the touch, and over time, they will become perkier and fuller. Many women (even those with large breasts) find they don't need to wear bras if they regularly massage their breasts.
As you keep up with this nurturing touch, you'll find yourself softening in other ways, perhaps noticing less judgment of yourself, your breasts, and others. Keep up the practice, and let me know how it goes for you.