Most women can't ask for what we want because we can't begin to communicate it. We've been conditioned to be good girls, and good girls don't ask for things. Take me: I've been self-pleasuring since I was five years old (once you accidentally discover orgasm by rubbing against the corner of a coffee table, you don't go back). You would think that I spent my twenties taking the driver's seat and telling men exactly what I wanted during sex. Yet I couldn't figure out how.