As I was cooking topless in the kitchen, my partner nuzzled in behind me, massaging my breasts and belly. I pressed my butt into him, and he whispered,
"Hey, do you want to have sex?"
Groan. Cohabitating. I'm ready to eat eggs, he's ready to get close. It can be so hard to find those perfect moments when everyone is raring to go.
But I've been bugging him lately, to have more sex. So much so that I feel like an annoying high-school boyfriend. It's graceless. My technique needs work. More massage and gratitude, less huffing and stomping away.
"Mayyyybe," I say ...
So here's the thing. I started my period today. And while I'm not against period sex, this is my first period since I started acupuncture a few weeks ago, and I can feel the pure apana (downward energy). Instead of a slow leak, my period has come full-force—a few days early! It's bright red and I'm feeling it. I want to sit in a red tent, I want to paint my face with my blood, I want to pour each Diva Cup into the Earth to nourish and feed the soil.
Yes, I'm a little tribal when it comes to this shit. Women's blood, and our connection to it, matters. It's a source of power and Self/Divine connection we have been cut off from, shamed for. But our blood is simply part of us. It is a crucial part of our power to create. It is a symbol of our fertility and our cyclical connection with nature.
Sex sounds like it will be pushing blood up and in. Not down and out the way I want it.
"How about we get naked and snuggle?" I offer.
So we do, and my body immediately changes its tune. I feel full and voluptuous and womanly. I feel like a sensual goddess, naked in his arms. We begin to kiss and entangle, and I know I want to make love.
Something comes to me, and I'm almost embarrassed to say it. But I know it's important, so after repeating it in my head a couple of times, I find a way to give it voice.
"So, this sounds hokey, but do you think you could make love to me with the intention of your cock made of light and nourishing energy?"
He loves this. He places his hand on my yoni, and begins the intentions. Energy runs through me and I shudder involuntarily, for minutes at a time. He's an amazing energy worker, and we both forget that sometimes. In fact, if you're reading this, please send an email and remind me, because I have his wizardry at my fingertips everyday and I forget to ask for it.
We move into making love, and it is nourishing. It is loving. My body sings from his intention. It's the relaxed, connective, naked cuddling I desired.
When we part, my blood flows down and out again. Easy, as though it had never stopped.
Everything in life is intention, and sex is no different. Bringing consciousness to your experience is as easy as setting an intention before sex. You can share it with your partner, or simply repeat it to yourself before (and perhaps during) sex.