A wave is an arc of emotion. We move through waves of emotion, and they naturally end, just like waves in water. It might be a long or large wave; it might small or soft. We might move through one or twelve, depending on the amount of grief or pain we’re in. Some of us never learned that there was a bank, a shore, on the other side of the wave. We fear we’ll get lost in the intensity of emotion forever.

This kind of self pleasure practice marries sexual pleasure with a bit of a somatic experiencing practice. It’s in this way we can use sexuality for something it’s meant for, before our Puritanical culture got ahold of it, and twisted it all up. We can use it for healing.

Every time I fail to answer, I heal that little girl inside, the one who reached to heal dad, to heal the dirtbag boyfriends of my 20s. Every time I choose silence, I choose her. Everytime I choose my empowered adult self, who doesn’t have to save or caretake or assuage or take responsibility for any adult, ever—I heal that sweet, precious little girl who learned that’s what love was.

Over the past few years, rhythms have become increasingly important to me. I teach women to tune into their own natural rhythms and into the rhythms of nature. Our rhythms connect us to our internal wisdom, needs, and alignment. When we work with our menstrual rhythm—resting when we’re bleeding, stepping more into the world during the energetic time just after our bleed and during ovulation, then evaluating during the luteal phase, also known as PMS—when we work with these times rather than against them, we experience more inner and outer harmony, as well as less discomfort before and during our bleed.

Recently I completed a pelvic care training called Holistic Pelvic Care with Tami Kent. HPC is a hands-on, hands-in modality that addresses physical & energetic imbalances that block a woman’s pelvic energy/ physical flow and core vitality. It can be done in-person with touch from me to you, or online as a remote healing practice.

Knowing your own body is wonderful and it is missing for a lot of women.
I'm a huge fan of knowing your anatomy and playing with different elements of self-pleasure, so that you can make yourself come and have an idea of what you like during sex.
AND
you can know your body and simply not be able to express what you want., or settle into the same kind of comfort that you can access alone, when you’re with a partner.

Sex is an opportunity for depth like no other.

It’s arguably the most relational thing we can do, the deepest we can get. Entering a portal together, a space where spirituality, energetics, emotions, the physical, the relational field—they are all potent and open, if we can allow for it.

She’s rooting out my need to be saved and my need to save others. She’s opening my rib cage and exposing my bloody, messy heart. She’s coaxing out my every sensual desire. She’s beckoning me into my spine and compressing me into my power. Nothing that’s not True gets to stay.