When we ignore the body’s cues repeatedly, we rupture trust, and soon, it becomes difficult to understand what our bodies are telling us. When they have wisdom or intuition, we won’t be able to listen or decipher it. But there’s always a way to repair trust with your body.

This is a seven-minute meditation (starting at 2:22) that will help you to reconnect to your pussy in a gentle way. I’ll teach you the “vulva hug” or genital hug, where you simply drape your hand over your pubic bone. I’ll guide you in a meditation where you’ll receive guidance from your sacral chakra.

So often we are up in our heads during sex or self-pleasure. We’re not truly dropped into our bodies—which takes practice, and sometimes, trauma healing. We’re running a to-do list in our heads, or worried about how we look, if we’re going to have an orgasm.

Lately my practice is to celebrate every bit of pleasure I’m feeling in self-pleasure (aka conscious masturbation).

You might be like, duh. That’s what the whole thing is about.

But if you’re an overthinker like me ... or have a wound around getting things right, your thoughts as you near climax might be more like: “I really hope I have an epic orgasm.” …

Sex that first time, sober, was incredibly confronting. Though I was far along in my healing journey, it forced me to see the spaces where I’d been pushing myself to do too much, too soon, with someone new.