So you’ve acquired a yoni egg.
Yay!
… now what?
Yoni eggs are a mystery … until you actually use one. I meet lots of women who buy jade eggs and then shove them in a drawer. Just another purchase made with excitement, that becomes a Rubic’s Cube once you get it home.
Just describing a yoni egg doesn’t do one much justice, either. “Well, it’s an egg-shaped tool, generally made of jade, that goes into your vagina. Once in place, you do different squeezes until you become a walking sex goddess.”
I know that sounds way too good to be true, but to be honest … it’s kinda that easy.
Let’s start with some history: Yoni eggs are tools that have been used for thousands of years, starting in East Asia. Yoni egg knowledge was passed down from woman to woman, a beautiful lineage of female empowerment and pleasure.
After all, when we have access to our pleasure and our vaginas, we become more empowered, unfuckwithable creatures.
We truly sit in our power centers, more grounded and connected to our intuition.
The myth (and don’t let this gross you out, let it hit you as BADASS) is that yoni eggs are made of hardened dragon semen—talk about powerful! Yoni eggs are a source of great power, especially when they are made of jade. Jade is a stone that cleanses and restores your heart, grounds you, and helps you release old patterns and trauma. Jade puts off a vibration of deep, earthy healing.
What makes a yoni egg different than kegel balls you’d buy at any sex toy shop?
First off, a yoni egg is made of natural materials that are good for your body. Real jade isn’t porous, so it doesn’t house bacteria like other stones. Even if you don’t believe in the more spiritual properties of stones, I always feel better putting something earthy and clean in my vagina.
Second, yoni eggs are spiritual and mystical. They’ve been used by women in the Taoist tradition for thousands of years, to cleanse the energy of previous lovers, to tone the vagina for more feeling for you and your partner, and to help women enter blissful orgasmic states.
In fact, the first time I used my yoni egg, I found myself wondering if I’d been slipped MDMA.
I felt tingling from my head to my toes. Each little sensation bloomed and escalated. Even my vision became different: hazy, diffused. I felt the edges of my body dissolve, and I was part of a watercolor painting. Even though I didn’t have a traditional climax (that 3-10 second “genital sneeze” we all strive for), that didn’t matter. There was no need for that. I was elevated, infused with bliss. I felt like I was making love with an invisible god. I felt like a goddess.
As you can imagine, my yoni egg and I became fast friends. Not every practice is like that, but surprisingly, many are.
For me, the yoni egg opened up a path to a different kind of masturbation practice, one that was focused on slow, full-body pleasure, rather than a quick, get-it-done climax.
What makes a yoni egg practice different than traditional, encultured masturbation?
We become more conscious of our bodies and pleasure. We slow down, and we begin to connect with areas of our yonis that have become deadened or numb. We get meditative and focused, rather than running a to-do list in our minds. We become present in the here and now.
Setting an intention when you start each yoni egg session is a beautiful way to differentiate your practice from masturbation. You can set the intention to release stagnant energy; to be done with patterns that don’t serve you; to discover more pleasure than you’ve ever known: or to give yourself unparalleled compassion.
When you use a yoni egg, I ask that you make the practice for you and your pleasure. This practice is not about getting tighter for your partner. It’s about getting inside sex, not hovering somewhere above, watching it play out. It’s about your true enjoyment of your body and what it can feel.
What you’ll gain from a yoni egg practice, besides a more supple pelvic floor (not tight, not strong, not superhuman: supple), is sexual autonomy.
You’ll learn that there are gateways and vortexes to pleasure that you never knew existed, and that it’s beyond okay for you to enter them solo. Learn them for yourself, and then, if you’d like, invite your lover to join you.
Let your lover be amazed at your absolute you-ness, rather than doing everything for their pleasure. Allow them to be a guest at your pleasure party. They’ll find their pleasure there if they’re at all worthwhile, reveling in your goddess energy, egging you on (welp, there’s my dad humor, I’m so sorry) and worshiping you as you transcend and dissolve.
Looking for my jade egg course, Jade Egg Magick? Click here.
What I’ve gained from my yoni egg practice:
more pleasure in my g-spot, vaginal walls and cervix
more access to transcendent states, where the veil is thin, and I feel closer to source, my spirit guides, and all-that-is
a deeper respect, acceptance and love for my body, as it is, no matter how it is (this is huge, as I used to have major body image issues, like most women)
the ability to manifest aligned lovers who are energetically sensitive and willing to explore slow sex
a deeper relationship to the Divine
an experience of myself as goddess
a deeper understanding of my body and sexuality as natural, beautiful, and belonging to me
I became a more empowered, unfuckwithable creature
Me and my jade egg.
How to use your yoni egg
1. Give your egg a bath in salt water and lavender oil.
If you haven’t used your egg before, or if it’s been a long time and you’ve just found her rolling around willy-nilly in the bottom of your old purse, give her a bath. Salt water and and just a drop of lavender oil will clear out any old energy.
2. Charge your yoni egg with an intention, prayer, or meditation.
I like to hold my yoni egg in both hands as I sit in meditation. This can be so brief—I might give her a simple kiss before I lie back for a practice, or if it’s been a while, or it’s the first time I’m using a new egg, I do a full meditation to charge and connect with my egg, like the one you can sign up to receive below.
3. Try a couple of yoni egg practices.
You can purchase one for beginners, or one that will help you awaken and connect with the entirety of your vagina (including your g-spot and cervix, which helps you increase your orgasmic potential). You can find specific yoni egg practices for trauma release, cutting cords to old lovers, and ones that are more physical — vaginal yoga, if you will. To learn more about practices, check out my course Yoni Egg Magick.
4. After your practice, integrate by lying in savasana or stretching gently for five minutes.
Then take a couple of minutes to journal about your experience. What stood out for you? What did you gain? What did you let go of? Do you feel different in your body?
5. Wash your egg with soap and water, or iodine.
Afterward, let it soak in one cup of hot water and 1 to 2 drops of Betodine to sterilize.
Do you have a jade egg practice? I'd love to know about your experience with your yoni egg.